When honesty isn't the best policy...

A conversation with my client...she came in, took one look at my sickly self and said:

"Dude, are you pregnant?"
"No, just bloated. I think ate something weird and it’s not sitting well with me. I don’t feel well today."
"Holy wow. I’ve never seen anything quite like that. Have you pooped, like, this month?”
“Who are you, my mom? Thank you for making me feel so much better about myself.”
“Well, maybe you should do sit ups with me?”
“Only if you want me to throw up on your shoes.”
“If it would get rid of the bloat, I would consider it. Either that or you should wear a muu muu”
“You suck.”
“At least I don’t look like THAT.”
"Bitch."
"Whale."