Bossima

Today, one of my male clients was being sort of a baby about his abdominal work. So I did what I usually do when this problem crops up - I verbally abused him. Some people might call this sadistic…I call it motivating!

“SERIOUSLY? Are you going to cry like a little schoolgirl over abdominal work? Don’t be such a pussy.” At which he looked up at me (while starting in on the offending crunches) and said “God, you’re so mean. What’s wrong with you?”

I thought about that for a bit, and the only thing I could come up with is “Well, I’m half German. I blame my heritage. However, my cruelty ensures your washboard abs. So really, you should really stop whining. It’s not attractive.”

“True, but sometimes I want to hit you, just a tiny bit.”

“Which is why I work you out so hard that you can’t. See, I’m mean AND smarter than you are. So suck it!”

Later, I heard someone at the studio whisper “I just heard Jen tell someone to suck it…I wish I could do that at work!”

And I thought, you know, I’m so lucky. I’m come from a long line of fiercely bossy women and the fact that I’ve made a career out of telling people what to do brings me endless joy. I get to make statements such as “LISTEN TO EVERYTHING THAT I SAY AND BE QUIET.” And they DO! And it works! And sometimes they bring me gifts! I can’t think of many other vocations in which this type of complete obedience occurs.

I’m never going to quit…I think anything else would be a huge disappointment, not to mention a reality check. If I had someone stop me mid-thought and give me a contrary opinion, I would probably stare at them in shock and then command them to drop and give me twenty.

I wonder what sort of human resources violation that would be?