The kissing game

I often try to distract my clients from their tasks at hand…meaning, I spend a lot of each hour telling funny stories, making them tell ME funny stories or just making fun of them. The point is, it helps them push through the torture of their hour with me and keeps me awake.

Today, I decided to play the Kissing Game, which does NOT involve body oil or lingerie, sorry boys. Everyone starts by describing, in detail, their first kiss. Whoever has the best story wins that round, and then we move on to the second kiss…I was teaching two friends simultaneously this morning and their stories were hilarious. One had a story of a misspent summer wherein she followed a certain rock band around and finally made out with the lead singer at a bar, only to have his girlfriend sucker punch her mid kiss. How white trash!

I was in second grade, and the boys name was Matt. We had been going steady for about three weeks, which meant that he chased me around the playground, lent me ten cents when I was short on cash for hot lunch and always picked me first for anything team oriented. He had curly brown hair and blue, blue eyes and constantly wore a pair of navy cords that eventually needed patching by winters end. We were playing tag at recess and I was taking a break underneath the slide in the corner of the playground, thinking that in my concealed position I would have a moment to myself. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and there stood Matt, who, without a word, put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me in for a kiss. You know, one of those elongated, close-mouthed pecks. He then pulled back, smiled and said “YOU’RE IT!” I remember he smelled like bacon.

He kissed that slut Natalie the following week. She then informed me that he was HER boyfriend now at which I kicked her in the shins...and then was promptly sent to the principals office. The principal laughed and sent me back out to the playground, shaking his head.

What’s your story?