So, it's been SOOOOPER hot here this week. With temperatures rising above 100 degrees, I've been cranky, lethargic and not quite on the ball. I have the looks of someone who should be of Nordic descent (read: PALE); ergo, the heat does not agree with me. Or my hair, but that is another post entirely.
Yesterday afternoon, I came home and hunkered down to check my email and do some paperwork before getting some writing done. The heat came over me, however, and I found myself waking up about an hour later from a spontaneous nap, a drool stain by my mouth and an indent on my forehead from the pressure of my laptops keyboard. Neat! I didn't feel refreshed, but groggy and out of sorts. It was so HOT. Needing to move, I decided to trot down to our mailboxes to stretch my legs and get out of the house for a moment.
Off I went, down our long driveway. It should be noted that we live off of one of the busiest intersections in Mountain View. If I stood on our street corner long enough, I'd see most of this towns residents pass by. I'd probably get propositioned too, come to think of it. Might be a quick way to make a buck.
ANYhoo, I was getting the mail and heard some commotion behind me...I turned to see a full line of cars waiting at the stop light. Out of two of the cars hung some young men who were all looking in my general direction going "OH YEAH! NICE!" with the rest of the drivers giving me quizzical looks from inside their air conditioned cars. Still not really comprehending what was going on and being too cranky to care, I turned to walk back to the house, and in doing so, dropped some of the mail. It was only when I bent over to pick up the stack that I realized what they were focusing their attention on.
I had forgotten to put on my pants.
Yes, people, I was standing there in my driveway in front of an appreciative audience with just a shirt and my boy shorts on. No pants. Covering my behind with a newspaper, I scampered into the house, shutting the door behind me and having one of those moments wherein I wished that I had never been born.
So if ever you have that dream where you've shown up at school in your underwear, you can wake up and know that at least you were not idiotic enough to have done so in REAL LIFE.
I swear, I might need to rethink my no pants rule. It could get me arrested.
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4 comments:
what is WITH you and showing your ass to strangers?! did your parents beat you with clothing as a child? are you a closet nudist and just tell these "whoops, my pants fell off" stories to gauge our reaction before you come out to us? did you secretly long to be a stripper but due to social pressures, just use this as a vehicle to 'live out your dream?' seriously. dirty minds wanna know.
Oh Jen, you are SO good at making the rest of us feel good about ourselves. Thank you for being there for all of us. ;0)
on your keyboard? Now I understand how your old imac's keyboard was jacked.
I have forgotten many things in my life: birthdays, anniversaries, where I put my keys, and even the name of some random hook-ups. However, I am quite certain that I've NEVER forgotten to wear pants. I think that you're officially the first person over the age of 7 to ever do that.
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