Thursday, April 9, 2009

The content I get from coffee shops is amazing.

I went into Starbucks the other day because I was feeling cranky and tired and wanted a latte. This is, most definitely, on the list of thing that I'm not allowed to have. But Christ, people, this deprivation is making me into a beastly individual, and so I figure these small rebellions, these tiny fuck you's to my body can't be ALL that bad. I mean, I've made it to 33! So let's live on the edge a wee bit! Besides, it was decaf which is about as exciting as ordering your margarita virgin. I mean, one practically has to ask, what's the point? And why would you insult tequila in such a manner? What has that sweet, sweet liquid ever done to you?

Sorry, tangent.

Anyhoo, in line was a mother with three boys. That were identical triplets. My vagina immediately started to weep. She looked as one would imagine: sleep deprived, disheveled with various stains on her shirt. The boys were probably somewhere around 10 months old, wiggling around in their vehicle, but happy, well behaved. She ordered her drink and then steered her village around to the pick up area. I followed a bit later and started making small talk with her about the kids. She commented that she hadn't really had a night of sleep since they were born and would give her husbands nuts for a nap. I wondered if he was aware that his jewels were up for auction?

Her drink came up and she started to go. I said, "Well, good luck!" and she replied, "You know, I just hope one of them turns out to be gay...otherwise, who am I going to bitch and gossip with while everyone gathers around the TV to watch sports and play video games? Fuck that shit."

Let's just say my day turned around right then. Bless.

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