To Santa Barbara we go!

Sweet Moses, people, it's been a week. I think you'll agree - if you live here, at least - that this heat has been a stabby, raging bitch. Not that I don't yearn for summer, because I do. But 93 degrees? When it was, like, 50 degrees last week? Can't we have a gradual climb in temperature that won't cause searing pain to my palms from the steering wheel of my car and extreme bloat due to water retention? Also, my deodorant wasn't prepared to have to work this hard, this soon.

So we're escaping to Santa Barbara this weekend. Andrea and Brit are moving out of their house and going on the Great Adventure of 2009, which means that Andrea is going to trot around Europe for the summer and Brit is moving back to LA. This is highly inconvenient for me, since they are my crash pad in SB, and for that I will not forgive them for at least five minutes. Really, they should have thought to ask me first, but you know, these youths. Only thinking of themselves. Anyhoo, they are having a giant party to celebrate their move. The kind wherein most people will be in danger of throwing up all over themselves by about 7pm. Also, I've heard that there will be about 200 almost completely naked girls (except for conveniently placed glitter) there. These bishes know how to roll. I'll get back to you with photos.

Regardless, Brit is creeping steadily up onto 30. I missed her 29th birthday a few weeks ago, an error I blame entirely on the new Facebook since the birthdays are now listed WAY at the bottom under some obscure heading. I knew it was coming up and then through some other avenue discovered that I had missed it entirely. Unacceptable, Facebook. A pox upon your new layout!

Anyhoo, Brit falls under the category of "People That You Should Know...and if you do not, your life is quite possibly not worth living." Bold, I know, but so is Brit. I was thinking, the other week, of the post I wanted to write FOR her birthday, but then I realized that a lot of my stories about her included mass quantities of alcohol and dialogue that is largely unprintable, but makes me laugh every time I think back on it. So what I'll say is merely that B, you are one of the biggest gifts, people-wise, that has come into my life in the past five years. And that I cannot see cute gay boys without thinking of you assaulting them and how if anyone could get them to switch teams, you might be it. And how you should really give LA a heads up that you're moving back, because I'm not sure that city is ready for you. Happy Belated Birthday, love. I can't wait to see you this weekend.

So more later, once we've recovered and returned home. And yes, I was serious about the 200 naked girls.