To San Diego! Again!

Tomorrow, I’m heading down to San Diego. I’ll be attending the first gathering of my entire family since my sister moved there over a year ago. This means that 18 people will be crow barred into one house. My mother sent down two cases of wine last week in preparation – or rather, for survival – of said gathering. She is terribly bright. She knows that while we all have an enormous amount of love for one another, alcohol only makes that love grow and flourish and keeps potential manslaughter type situations at bay.

Of course, I’ll be wine free due to it being on the list of things which are STRICTLY VERBOTEN!!!, which really includes anything that might be fun in life. I suppose, if nothing else, my stark sobriety will give me ample clarity to report back as to the family’s antics, which will be many. We are a funny people, and also verbose. I should really walk around with a tape recorder all weekend so as not to miss anything.

Just as a preview, this is a portion of an email that my dad sent to all of us siblings at the end of last week to give us an update on his health. We like to share these things with one another, you see, and find it quite normal to talk about stool samples over dinner. Though, with my moms fierce and undying love of her fiber supplements, this should not come as a shock to any of you who are veteran readers of this blog. Enjoy. The CAPS and “quotes” are all intended. My father, being the expressive sort, cannot be contained, even by a font:

…ALL the "VITAL SIGNS" are very normal. Heart, Lung, Kidneys, Liver e.t.c. all fully functional [though the BRAIN test was not performed] = I am still a walking and talking specimen. For NOW; Cholesterol and High blood pressure control pills remain at the same dosage; ADDED 2 IRON pills / day as a supplement to my otherwise perfect diet (especially the liquid parts).

After our return from San Diego, Mother will join me for a DUAL COLONOSCOPY at her favored Dr.; as he is by now very familiar with "inside view" of Mothers' digestive system from H-Pylori episode…Mother - reading this over my shoulder - reminded me not to forget to mention the "POOPING Samples" I have to submit for testing…I should have stayed FULLY EMPLOYED, so I would not have time for all of this nonsense.

Dad

I asked if their dual colonoscopy counted as a date and if they would be able to hold hands during the procedure. He never answered that question. Odd.