Dearest Kenneth,
It has come to our attention that it is your natal day and for that we offer you our deepest felicitations. A hear-hear to you, old chap. We’ve been wandering around the outback in what was once Her Majesty's India and, while adjusting our pith helmets and baking under the hot, hot sun, thought of you.
We fell upon a merry watering hole yesterday that you would have adored. It was the tops! Though the canteen was filled with unsavory characters and prostitutes, you would have loved the bourbon. Our companion is somewhat syphilitic as a result of a visit to one of the harlots, but it’s nothing that more drink won’t solve. He’ll keep a stiff upper lip and hope for the best.
Must fly as my elephant is on the rise. We leave on the morrow for a large game hunt and hope to bag a tiger by sundown. I shall save the eye-teeth in your honor and perhaps inlay them in the handle of a rapier for use on your next sojourn into the darkest elbows of the world. Does that strike your fancy?
So here’s to you, old boy. May your day be full of adventure and your evening full of the choicest birds. Perhaps you’ll even pull one, eh? One can hope! More news when we’re back from the hunt. Carry on and so forth…
Ta!
JK & Co.
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2 comments:
you used two of my favorite words in one post - syphilitic and harlot! thanks!
Bloody hell, ark at Eee! This getting older can be such a load of codswallop if you ask me. Hope that you were on the piss for your birthday Kenny, and that it was just jammy!I wish I could've celebrated the big day with you. I wasn't being very dodgy or a wanker intentionally! Cheerio!
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