Monday, July 13, 2009

Back.

Hello? Anyone still there? Yoohoooo....

So, the longer I went without updating, the easier it was to forget about my little blog. Instead of calling that laziness, let's go with "inertia"...it just sounds better and as though perhaps I had other important things to do and wasn't just sitting on my ass watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Actually, I was attending to the business of Trying to Feel Better which, in my case, has been a full time job. Last month, I was finally diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder. I say finally because I've spent the better part of the past 6-10 years wondering what exactly the hell was wrong with me and it would appear that my symptoms - which covered everything from raging insomnia to extreme social anxiety - can be blamed on my bodies dislike for, well, itself. Essentially, my insides have been in constant battle and it took several doctors and any number of probing instruments and tests to figure this out. Let's just say that I've been poked so many times in so many different areas of my body that if I so much as hear the snap of a latex glove, I'm going to climb up your body and wrap myself around your head in fear that an index finger covered with lube is heading my direction.

Good times.

So over the past month, I've been taking an exorbitant amount of medication and have been on strict instructions to avoid stress, sleep and eat well. This would be somewhat easier if I didn't have this tiny little thing called REAL LIFE to contend with. I asked the doctor if he could write a prescription for a cabana in Hawaii or at the very least a trust fund. A humorless man, he merely looked at me and said, "No, just take these," and handed me my medications. I left before he could head towards the gloves and ask me to drop trow.

So I'm back, somewhat tentatively. I've missed writing but have found that over the course of these weeks, my brain has shifted. I'm not exactly dulled, but I've found that I'm less prone to imaginative thought. This is somewhat frightening, since I base my livelihood on my tendency to sympathize with the crazies, but I've been assured that this too will pass and I'll be back to my normal self...meaning the voices in my head will return and the space between my ears will stop being so echo'y.

But thanks to those of you who have sent such kind emails. The fact that you find this site entertaining and have made it a part of your life is hugely encouraging to me. Writing can be such a lonely task and I think I share many writers worries that our work is irrelevant. So for your notes, I'm so grateful. And extremely humbled.

5 comments:

Justin said...

Hooray! Welcome back. You've been missed. x

HENRY said...

I'm glad your back, and am glad you aren't getting poked by your doctor anymore. :-)

Steph. said...

Oh how I missed you.....glad you are back, and thank Mama dear for all the "fun" illness. I guess now you really have the right to say, "see code liver oil does NOT help, AND screw the vitamins all those years" You had a point my dear!
Love ya oodles, Steph.

Teresa said...

I am glad you are back, too--still sorry you aren't well, but happy that the cause has been found and can be sorted in whatever fashion needs to happen to make you feel better!

Rod said...

You had me a lube. Welcome back. Looking forward to more hilarity.