I had to go to the dentist today. Unremarkable, I know. You'll all be pleased to note that my tendency to binge floss two weeks before any dentist visit paid off and the hygienist stated with a dramatic sigh and an accidental squirt to my face with the rinsing gun that she wished her other patients were as diligent. I nodded sagely as I dabbed at my eyes, lamenting with her how those other people make her job so much more difficult.
I left with my new toothbrush and the promise to continue my flossing habits. As I walked outside and towards my car, a mother was trying to console her toddler who wasn't having any of it. The mother looked sleep deprived and in a last ditch effort to understand her child who was letting off a high pitched "fehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sort of half screamed, "JUST TELL ME WHAT IS HURTING YOU SO THAT I CAN FIX IT!"
Her tone stopped the boys whine and he looked at her, wounded that she would dare raise her voice when clearly that was his job. Writhing around in his stroller so that he could adequately point to his bottom he looked up at his mother and said through his sniffles, "I. Have. The. Backdoor trots."
BACKDOOR TROTS.
Just let that soak in for a moment and tell me that's not the best thing you've heard all day.
Heh.
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2 comments:
HOW did he ever come up with that phrase? Should be included in the overall American vocabulary immediately. Fabulous.
i binge floss too!!! it totally works, yo.
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