Sweet fancy snickers, it's Monday already? It would appear that since this was the first weekend in for-eh-EH-var that I didn't have a million and one things to do that it sped by with warp speed. I'm just getting ready to settle in for a Friday night movie and already here we are at the start of another week. WHAT?
I'm starting to realize what it means to be an adult. I spent Sunday morning cleaning out gutters in my town home complex...well, I didn't personally clean any gutters but I offered up encouragement and directions to those who were. This falls under the category of KNOW THY STRENGTHS. And I'm best with two feet on the ground and telling others what to do. Fact. I was in the middle of instructing my neighbor where to throw some leaves - NO TO THE LEFT! - when my OTHER neighbor called me over and said, "Jen, do you think the foundation should look like this?" My first instinct was to say, "I don't know. Let me go check with my dad." I think those words actually started to fall out of my mouth and then I realized that she was asking ME. As though I would have anything profitable to offer about foundational integrity! HA! I mean, we didn't float away in the last storm, so I'm assuming it's solid! High five! Let's have some drinks! What I did do was lean over and look at the area she was talking about while cupping my chin and going, "Hmmmmm...I'm not sure that looks right. Should we call someone?" Because when in doubt, PASS THE EFFING BUCK.
She stared at the spot in question for a bit and then said, "Maybe." Relieved, I went off to hold a ladder for someone and wrestled, as I often do, with the fact that I'm a homeowner and therefore responsible for things such as roofs and foundations and sprinkler systems. This makes me want to fall to the ground in horror as I feel like it was just last week that I was paying rent for the first time and calling my mom to say, "HA! I can make it on my own! Oh, would you put dad on? I can't figure out how to plunge the toilet." The sad thing being that I'm 33 and I still can't unclog a toilet properly. I just cover my eyes with one hand while stabbing at the bowl with the plunger, praying that it doesn't turn inside out and douse me. Because that happened once and I still haven't recovered my ability to feel, or love.
Why are we talking about this? Oh yes...adulthood!
Which isn't all that it was cracked out to be, right? But there are some good things. For instance - sex! And we're now allowed to stay up late and watch bad tv! And sex! Or eat 12 Tootsie Rolls in one sitting without my mother stabbing my in the back with her bony finger saying, "THAT IS TOO MUCH SUGAR!" (I did that on Saturday night, and it just so happens that it IS too much sugar.) And all of the sex!
Anything else? No? I know, I can't think of anything either.
Sigh. Happy Monday people. I'm off to go and boss around some clients.
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You have just named the many things about homeownership that had me running--shrieking even--from the idea this year...when all anyone would say to me is: "You have a job? Finally? Are you thinking of buying a house?" Bastards. Although, I suppose it could be worse--if I were married I would get the house AND the kid question.
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